Monday, 25 February 2013

SUMMONED TO THE HEADS STUDY


Nervous and full of trepidation I entered the Heads study. My mouth was dry. My pulse racing. What was going to happen? Would it hurt? Would I cry? Would I derive some perverse pleasure from the ritual humiliation to come? All these thoughts rushed through my mind as I pushed the door open to see my stern faced tormentors seated impassively in front of me. Ms McG well know for her strict uncompromising approach to corporate governance. Mr P a renowned no-nonsense legal hard liner, and Cllr H with a  formidable reputation for party discipline. "Shit" I thought "I'm really in for it now". Thank God I stuffed the Pleasurama Agreement down my keks to absorb the pain to come. I cast a sidelong glance at my friend Cllr K who raised his eyebrows and shook his head in a gesture of sullen hopelessness. "Bloody hell" I thought "I'm finished" and so, it appeared, I was.

Even before I was seated, the quick talking Mr P began barking out the rules I had broken. My head was spinning I couldn't keep up with him. That man talks so fast he was twisting my melon.  Then Cllr H took over. So secret and confidential were the papers I had leaked that he insisted his wife turn her back to him whilst he was reading them in bed. Bugger me I thought this is serious shit!

Then Ms McG raised her finger. The room instantly fell silent. In a hushed, slow and deliberative tone she said  "You have been a very a naughty Councillor and you must be punished severely  for breaching the Council's standards code". She paused for what seemed like an age. Just like Michel Roux Jnr during a Master Chef eliminator. My sphincter twitched uncontrollably. I serioulsy feared losing control of my bowels and bladder.  Beads of sweat trickled down the back of my neck.  My reactions reminiscent of a Friday night vinadloo at at the Cinnamon Spice.  If only I had drunk 8 pints of larger perhaps I  could have borne my chastisement like man.

My heart was pumping hard, I was trying to focus. How do I get out this mess? What can I do? Then it came to me! As quick as a flash! In a trembling, nervous voice I said "I know the identity of  the mysterious Painter of the Great Wall of  Ramsgate". In an instant the confident demeanour of the Gang of Three was replaced by decidedly Green complexions. Cllr H looked gutted like sad drunk propping up a sleazy bar in downtown King Street. Wise-cracking Mr P, was silent for once. The fire in his eyes replaced with Pooles of emptiness. Ms McG cast her eyes round the room desperately seeking divine inspiration like the prophet  Ezekiel  by the Rivers of Babylon.

"Councillor Driver" she said, "on this occasion the Council intends to take no further action"

14 comments:

  1. Ian

    Any chance of spicing things up a bit? It might help boost Michaels' page view numbers?

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  2. oooooo errrr I'll see what i can do Mr Solo. But it might annoy the Lt.Col

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  3. You got off lighter than Moores then!

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  4. Brilliant Ian. Keep on twisting their melon man! Love it.

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  5. Wow!!! You actively incite vandalism but have the audacity to accuse TDC of vandalsim!! Are you not liking that they are refusing to bow down to your very questionable behaviour in pursuit of power?? As a Northwood resident I am disgusted with you and your bandwagon jumping. You lack professionalism and integrity. Your use of sexual innuendo to attempt to humiliate and pervert the truth of that meeting is also somewhat disturbing!

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  6. Very entertaining! Who dunnit then?
    Christine

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  7. TDC ain't gonna step on you no more. Call the Copz!

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  8. The more TDC officers and councillors are kept on their toes, always looking over their shoulder, the better.

    Documents on pink? Confidential infornation my arse. This is all about preserving their own self determined importance and nothing to do with serving the people.

    Time for change. Driver for Thanet Mayor

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  9. The Fury, the Sound and the retreat. As predicted, by implication, by a commenter on Michaels' blog ? He, of course, faced the more dangerous wrath of the Civil Service and Govt. Threats of charges under Official Secrets Act as well as threats of disciplinary action under Civil Service Code of Conduct. He stood his ground and called them on. What they really had was all hot air. As often happens when the disciplines of evidence have to be weighed because the threats failed to cow the man.

    The man stood his ground. Private Care Home Law and Care monitoring were changed in due course. NHS discharging mental patients homeless to seaside resorts was exposed.

    The man who stands his ground and makes right be done. He is the man Roosevelt wrote about. The better man who at the worst fails but yet he strives again and again to do right by all manner of people. Better than all those who avoid the arena yet comment from the safety of the sidelines. Blogs are full of such little man armchair wisdom. But all that counts is the action taken by the better man.


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  10. It would seem that it is deemed a serious offence for an individual to bring the council into disrepute. It would seem that no comparable crime has been committed when the council brings the area into disrepute. Thanet is a laughing stock and the council which has caused it gets off scot-free. How can we charge the council with failing in its duties?

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  11. I've read about the idea of a Unitary Authority and I would support that. TDC is not fit for purpose. Members or Officers and needs getting rid of.

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  12. Will Mr Driver be divuldging the identity or the vandals involved?

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  13. "In an instant the confident demeanour of the Gang of Three was replaced by decidedly Green complexions." Is "Green" in capitals for a reason?

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  14. Anarchy rules.

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